The maid of honor just puked.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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