Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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