It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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