We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
