All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
