She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
