and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
