Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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