I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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