if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
