do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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