i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She bit a glass in half.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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