'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
