Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I checked into jail on foursquare
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize