Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
