I murdered the dance floor call the cops
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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