3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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