She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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