I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
