You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
