im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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