Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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