theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
