You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
