you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
