I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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