Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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