why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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