i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
