I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
