I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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