After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
