I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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