Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize