Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
