I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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