i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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