Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
