There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
