She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
