She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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