Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
