Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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