We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
