Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
