I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
