If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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