You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
