Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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