if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
