we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
