she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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