woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize