I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
