haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
