dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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