my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
