I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Randomize
