five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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