it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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