3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
