some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I need to stop coming to work sober
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
