STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I wish there were birth control emojis
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
