what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We left an ass print on the piano.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
