I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
