So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
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