let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
