haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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