Joe is yelling at the trees again.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
