come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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