Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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