ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
