She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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