I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
It was a blind-side dick pic.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
