I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
